Sanduni's not so curry curry

     Since my significant other has never been the biggest fan of oriental food, I didn’t really have a chance to cook it often. Why? My better half was sure, that this kind of food must be hot as hell, aromatic as toilet refresher and contain spices, that will give you a week long diarrhea. Thanks god, I’ve proved this beautiful creature wrong, so that we can finally have Thai, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, or Sri Lankan dishes on regular basis!

     I know, I know, that was pure ignorance to put so many cuisines under one umbrella (ela, ela, ela) – but hey, my sweetheart is a mastermind in technology, graphic design, architecture and I’m like… well, ok, I’m not that bad in any of those science fields either, so never mind, the most important - everything is clear now.

      While I was sniffing tomatoes on my local farmer’s market yesterday, I thought of Sanduni, amazing woman from Sri Lanka, who was a mother of Chocko – boy I took care of while working in an hose for young adults, who needed a bit more attention, than some of us. By the way – one of the best experiences of my life, that taught me more, than all the years I’ve spent in different educational institutions.

     Anyhow, she used to cook for us every now and then. Actually, she would bring us thousands of billions of tons of food, everything homemade! There was always some for her soon, who loved it, but there was much more for us, and it was just like heaven on earth cubed! I swear to God (any God), I’ve been exited just like before my first time, when I knew Sanduni was on the way!

     She taught me a lot about their culinary culture, such a great pleasure to learn from someone so gifted and talented as she was. But back to the reality. Sniffing those goddamn beautiful plum tomatoes I was blessed with the vision of curry! At least my creation of it, under the influence of Chocko’s mom.

     No worries, you don’t have to convert to Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity or Islam - main religions in Sri Lanka according to the only source I trust – Wikipedia - to cook this amazing and refreshing meal. What will you need? I’ll tell you, know my good heart:

·        500g/18oz black tiger prawns – use more if you like, I found them in Selgros for less than €10/$13 per 1kg/35oz –I can eat the whole lot myself, because I love them so freaking much to be very honest with you

·        5 ripe plum tomatoes finely chopped (if you won’t find them, use any you can get, even in a can, I can’t care less)

·        2 cloves garlic crushed and finely chopped – I used 4, couldn’t resist

·        2 tbs grated ginger

·        2 tbs garam masala – don’t use the ready curry mix you can buy in Tesco or other Carrefour… be like Alexis, give yourself the luxury of real spices

·        1 tbs grounded turmeric

·        sunflower oil – like 2-3 spoons (the one you use to eat soup in the restaurant when everyone’s looking and you can’t sip it),however  I never measure it that way… I’m not a doctor or pharmacist, unfortunately to my parents idea for me

·        one medium onion thinly sliced

·        parsley – I used it, as I couldn’t find coriander leafs anywhere, I walked like to Nebraska and back, and nada, niente, zero…

·        juice from one lemon or lime

·        one chili pepper finely chopped

·        one small Greek-style yogurt – I use light one – I don’t want to look like an overweight capybara

·        one green bell pepper sliced

·        basmati rice – for this dish it is just perfect

·        sea salt and freshly grounded black pepper

·        spring onions finely chopped for garnish

     First of all, prepare a marinate in a bowl big enough to hold the prawns. It is simpler than you would think. Just mix 2 tbs grated ginger, chopped garlic, chili pepper and half of parsley/coriander leafs, some sunflower oil (up to 1 spoon), lemon juice and some salt and black pepper. Leave them covered for like 15-20 minutes, they are easy to marinate, not like venison or your jogging socks. Make sure they are defrosted and drained, otherwise you won’t have curry, but some watery curry soup that tastes like water from Laccadive Sea!

     Chop tomatoes, slice onions and green pepper. Just cut it longwise in half, get rid of seeds and all the white film, simply slice it across and voilà!

     Preheat some sunflower oil in a wok or frypan on a medium-high (I use high, I’m inpatient) heat. Add onion and fry for couple of minutes, just to lose the tenderness. We don’t want them to go all brown, it’s not a Brazilian beach and the onion's not on holidays god dammit!

     Add prawns with all the goodness of the marinate and stir fry for 2-3 minutes maximum. Be ready to remove them from the wok or frypan when they’re ready and keep them on the side – just the little fellows, live onion, ginger, garlic and all the rest in peace. Meanwhile, cook the rice according to packet instructions. Cover and keep warm.

     Reduce the sauce that’s left and add green pepper and spices. Sanduni told me to use garam masala instead of some shitty supermarket mix of curry. I buy my garam masala in my local eco-geeko food shop, that is always flooded with hipsters and weird people living in the forest, or other places forgotten by god and civilization – and I don’t write this as an insult! I used to be a scout, and I love nature, naturism and freedom… so help me god! At least my herbs and spices are really full of flavor, not some production leftovers. If you can manage to find a really good quality curry mix, go for it, best bought in India I guess…

     Also - ok, I sound like a smartass - turmeric is well known for its extraordinary care and health-promoting properties in ayurvedic medicine – alternative medicine created long, long time before your great-great-great grandmother was born in India. Bioactive compound, which gives turmeric its sunny color, accelerates wound healing, cleanses the blood, support liver function, skin care and relieve stomach discomfort! According to Dr. Saraswati Sukumar, turmeric also helps in the fight against diabetes and inflammation. It also reduces the risk of cancer! Hello! I’ll be adding it everywhere! And mixing it with garlic, which is also a health-bomb – priceless!

     Finishing the educational deduction, so that no one will fall asleep, add this poor pepper and spices, fry for a minute, then just throw the tomatoes with the rest of parsley/coriander leafs and stir fry it for like up to 15 minutes. We want all the flavors to fully penetrate the sauce, and tomatoes to be cooked.

     Last, but not least, add shrimps and yoghurt at the very end of the cooking. How not to curdle yoghurt in the sauce? Nothing simpler. My grandma Pélagie was always telling me to add some hot liquid (soup, sauce) to the yoghurt/cream we are planning to actually pure into the hot sauce/soup, mix it and then add. She called this – cream tempering.

     Reduce the heat, stir it all well and serve with basmati rice – one of the finest. Normally I use brown rice to show everyone how healthy I am, but with this dish it would be too vulgar. Like Santa Clause in sadomasochistic latex costume… some like it, but it would ruin my childhood. Serve it sprinkled with chopped spring onions. Bon appétit! 

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Cold borscht - beetroot extravaganza

     I have never been the biggest fan of winter. Frost is not my favorite atmosphere disaster of all times. Personally, I believe snow should only appear in selected mountain chains. I hate when I’m cold, when I’m forced to wear ten thousands kilograms of clothes and I can’t drive… In the country I was born and raised in, white flakes are always a huge surprise for the adequate services god dammit.

     Never the less, that’s why even when  it’s over +40C/104F… I will survive. Besides, spring and summer, ok, early autumn too, let’s be fair, give us all the amazing fruits and vegetables! They are fresh, there are tons of them and they’re cheap – at least comparing to what I have to pay for some poor imitations of veges in the winter! Some artificial creatures made of water and antibiotics, grown in glasshouses of Netherlands or other Spain.

     Perhaps I’m not a soup person, I like solid food, not just liquid, unless it contains alcohol, however my grandma Pélagie, an extraordinary woman, was a world champion in that field of culinary art. I actually stopped eating soups after she was called in to the heaven’s kitchen, to prepare meals for Jesus and his holy friends and family…

     There is one soup I especially enjoy while we have the Sahara’s heat over in Poland – ‘chłodnik’! It’s a clod borsch and according to Wikipedia, it’s served in many different culinary traditions, including Belarusian (Chaładnik, Хaлaднiк), Latvian (Aukstā zupa), Lithuanian (Šaltibarščiai), Polish (Chłodnik, Chłodnik litewski), Russian (Свекольник) and Ukrainian (Kholodnyk, Холодник)!Blimey, that’s a lot of soup!

     My personal success and contribution towards cultivation of local culinary heritage, was converting my friends to actually like it, and even prepare it later in their haciendas! God dammit I’m good.

     Now, there’s no need for you to travel to Belarus to cook it, all you need is love and:

·        young beetroots with leafy tops – few of them 4-6 – depending how big they are – the younger, the better

·        05l/1pint of vegetable stock

·        one spoon of vinegar/lemon juice + a pinch of sugar – add it to stock while cooking beetroots – this will keep the color and the color my Dear is the key here

·        sour cream 12%-18%, soured milk, kefir, or yogurt – I mix them all, it’s better that way – you want to get 1l/2pints to 1,5l/3pints of it together, I normally go (or dig in the fridge) for  3 different kinds - each 0,5l/1pint

·        bunch (or two) of chives and dill – I like when there’s more of it

·        bunch of radishes

·        garlic – I use 4 big gloves, because I like it, and I know that fresh parsley kills all the odor – but use as many as you like, at the end of the day, I’m not the one who’ll taste it

·        3-4 English cucumbers – not to long/big though

·        sea salt and freshly grounded black (should I write ‘Afro-American’?) pepper

·        eggs (not balls) – boiled - one per portion – to serve

     First of all, put some latex gloves on sunshine – yes, I know how it sounds, hold your horses, it’s only to keep your hands clean while dealing with beetroots. After washing them – also leafy tops and stems – grate the beetroots on the large slot. You can also chop them, but it can be a messy… we like it simple! Chop what is left. Use only the nice and fresh leafs, all the ugly ones give to pigs or other pets you have at close hand, they’ll love it.

     Bring the stock to boil, add vinegar/lemon juice and sugar – that’s crucial, otherwise beetroots will lose all the color and your ‘chłodnik’ will be greyisho-dark-olivy-green. Trust me, you don’t want that on your plate. First add grated beetroots and chopped stems, cook for few minutes, then add leafs and cook for further 2-3 minutes, not too long, we don’t want to have puree. Take off and cool down. It can’t be hot while adding to dairy products, otherwise it will all go wrong. And I ain’t mean ‘girls/boys gone wild’ kind of thing, but you will get all curdled, even your pig won’t eat it.

     Now, take the cucumbers, peel them and cut in half lengthwise. I always get rid of seeds – they’re just to watery. There is a very simple way to do it. Find somewhere small spoon and literally scrape the center out. You don’t have to chuck it away. Take a blender, put couple of ice cubes, cucumber seeds, mint leafs, lemon juice, watermelon (optional) and a lot of vodka, you deserve it god dammit, it’s not only refreshing, but also healthy.

     While you’re still sober, you can cut the cucumbers into small dice, and place in a large bowl. Always take larger blow or pot you think you may need. Julia Child taught me that, and it’s always true! Grate radishes also on larger slot and add to the bowl.  Yes, you can chop them, but it’s like counting Polish ‘tourists’ in Egypt – way too much work. I also grate garlic on the smallest slot, I’m too lazy to use the squeezer and later deal with all the bits in it, while washing up.

     Last, but not least, chop well the dill and chaves – you can live some for garnish. Mix all with sour cream , soured milk, kefir, yogurt or whatever you’ve managed to conquer in you shop or fridge. If your beetroots & Co. (with the stock it was cooked in) is cold, add it too. Now it’s time for seasoning. Please taste it before and during adding the salt. With grounded black pepper you know yours and your family/friends limits. My grandma would add crawfish flesh… worth trying, be like Alexis Carrington, give yourself a drop (or seven) of luxury.

     Put it all it in the fridge for few hours, it’s best when served really cold in a hot afternoon, or even morning – beetroots are good for hangover, as well as yoghurts – and have yourself another glass of cucumber cocktail…

     Before serving, boil the eggs in salted water  - this prevents the eggshell to brake. 10 minutes when put in boiling water, 4 minutes when starting in cold, counting from the moment, water will start boiling.  When ready, put them in cold water to cool down, it also makes it easy to peel them. Serve cold borsch in deep plates or bowls, or even jars, with quarters of eggs on it. Voilà! Bon appétit!

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Aubergine & mushrooms vegetarian risotto

     My grandma Pélagie, who actually razed me in the atmosphere of passion for food, always said, that the devil lays in the details. She was a very wise woman, who not only survived the II World War with 5 children, but also decades in ‘soviet’ Poland, where every day was a fight for at least appearance of normality.

     She was the one who taught me all the basis and how to fall in love with cooking. Let’s be honest… it’s not always like in Martha Stewart’s program, all happy and in pastel colors. There is blood, there is sweat, there is dirt, there is even pain, but at the end of the day, that’s what makes it all so amazing. By the way – I love you Martha!

     The other day I was in  the office thinking… what to cook for dinner? I love to feed people, my significant other, family and friends are lucky, I believe in healthy, balanced meals… being a kid who was sent to sport schools from the very beginning of my educational path, I was introduced to special diets at the very young age. I was lucky enough  not to eat chips, creepy bisques with 1213% of sugar or all the fast-food awful plastic-tasting imitation of meals. The worse think is, that this kind of ‘food’ is full of stuff you normally find in oil refineries, nuclear plants and in ‘zone 51’. I can’t think of any excuse one can have to eat it… And I’m god dammit pretty creative.

     Anyhow, back to the most important thing in our house – food! On the way home I thought: aubergine! Not many people know, that eggplant – how it’s also called – is a close cousin of tobacco, tomatoes, pepper and even potatoes. Such a beautiful family! I knew I had some stuff in the fridge, and I totally and utterly hate to waste food, so I thought, whatever will be, will be… just like Doris Day sang once or twice, or tousled of times on YouTube.

What you’ll need to prepare this simple, but yet tasty and good-looking dish…? Nothing more but:

·        a cup of risotto rice – I’m not a master chef, so I normally use the one I can find in the shop… over here where I live, we don’t really get much of variety of this product… up to 4 different kids in local supermarket is a big success

·        glass of white wine – dry or semidry

·        half liter/1 pint of vegetable stock – ideally homemade, however we all know it’s not always the case

·        2 small spoons of butter – but hey, if you want to use a bit more, go for it

·        a bit of olive oil

·        sea salt and black freshly grounded pepper to taste

·        one medium red onion – I like it’s delicacy

·        garlic – I use a lot of garlic and I guess everyone knows what’s their limit, I would recommend 2 medium gloves

·        juice from half of the lemon – I really like the sour twist

·        one medium aubergine

·        mushrooms – I wish I had scale in my eyes, it must be more-less 225g/8oz

·        fresh parsley – leave some for garnish

·        tomatoes and violet (I’ve heard it’s Thai – correct me if I’m wrong) basil – just to have something nice on the side – after all, we also eat with our eyes

     Start with the aubergine, it needs to sweat a lot if you don’t want to have it bitter. Slice it and salt both sides, leave for few minutes. This will not only save you from  tart notes in your dish. Salt makes the flesh less spongy, so the eggplant won’t steal all the fat while frying.

     While aubergine is in the ‘salt sauna’ chop the onion, slice the garlic – I like when it’s in thin slices, but if you like, you can also chop it, squeeze it, you name it. With mushrooms, I like to cut them in 4 or so, not slice them. Cut them in half and then in half gain, so you would get nice quarters. If they’re huge like your hand or spaceship, cut them furthermore, so that you’ll be able to eat them with fork, not a pitchfork.

     Now chop parsley, whole of it, even the green ends. It’s good for you, just chop it small and it will be cooked through. Plus it does have a lot of flavor.

     Now the aubergine, with this dish there are couple ways of dealing with it. First of all, dry the slices with kitchen paper, that will remove the salt and the bitter liquid. What you’ll do next is interlay up to you.

     First of all, we can put them on electric grill or grill frying pan with some olive oil on it. It will take few minutes until it’s nice and golden. When ready, put it on a kitchen paper to get rid of excess fat. Later you need to cut it in medium dice and add to the risotto at the end of cooking.

     But you can also cut them in medium dice after drying them  and fry on a bit of olive oil for few minutes. When ready, you’ll need to remove it and put it on the side.

     We need to heat the frying pan over medium high heat. Use the same pot you fried diced aubergine on. Fry mushrooms with some salt until golden. Add one small spoon of butter, onion, garlic and glaze it, won’t take you long I promise. Add the lower green parts of fresh parsley – leave the leafs for later, they will keep more flavour when added few minutes before the finishing. Fry it for a minute or so. Add the rice, stir to coat it in the oil and fry for two to three minutes. Rice will go sort of transparent and shiny.

     Add wine – don’t drink it all, it’s an important ingredient. Don’t be greedy, buy two, three, seven bottles. Be sure you’ll have one glass saved. Also, use dry or semi dry white wine, sweet is good for Elton John. Stir every now and then until it has all disappeared into the rice.

     Now you can start adding stock. Make sure it’s hot, otherwise it will take ages to cook the rice. Add small portions and act like with the wine. When it’s all disappeared, add more. In the meantime you can add the lemon juice and black pepper – some smart guy discovered, that black pepper must be cooked for at least 7 minutes, to get the best taste out of it.

     Risotto normally takes from 20-40 minutes. Be patient, don’t cry when your arm hurts form stirring. Have a glass of wine and just go for it god dammit.  Remember, you’re a cook, not a pussy. Taste the food every now an than, it’s very important. If you think you need to add more grounded black pepper, salt or lemon juice, go for it. Eating few grains of uncooked rice won’t kill you, it will only make you stronger and wiser. Look at Harry Potter…

     My advice – be careful with salt, stock contains some… ok, sometimes a lot of it. It’s better to add more later, than drink a gallon of water while eating the meal.

     When it’s almost ready, add the rest of the parsley and aubergine. Cook for further 5 minutes until all the stock is absorbed – you don’t need to use the whole amount you have, I always have some left and never in my life used all of it. Before serving, add the remaining small spoon of butter, stir until its melted in the risotto, and live it for a couple of minutes to rest.

     I used a small bowl filled with foil. Just place the risotto in it, cover with plate, turn it upside down… there you go, just like in the restaurant. BTW – remove the foil, it’s just to make it easier to get out of the bowl, not a part of the game. If you’re very hungry, you can use a large bowl or even a bucket. Add some tomatoes on the side, garnished with violet basil, add few parsley leaves on the top of the risotto mini pyramid, and enjoy. Bon appétit! 

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